Both are forms of like, but are different constructs
Monday, October 29, 2007 5:33 PM
I thought i should just make it clear that in the previous post, i was not referring to myself. I just felt its impt that i clarify in case people mistake the wrong people for being bastards. =)
Obviously, this last 2.5 weeks has been crazy. I'm really kinda drained and burnt out. I just wanna get it over and done with, and i REALLY REALLY WANT STARS. I know the pain of not having stars, I dont mind if not everything has got stars, but at least, give me some useful stars can??? Pls pls pls. I;m thinking, maybe there isnt anything i want more than this. Not even the grant. I have the experience of being "wu xing xing", and i really dont hope to go thru that pain again. I will cry very loudly, and really really cry if no stars.
Was talking to someone about crying today. He says he hasnt cried for at least 5 yrs. *shocked* How scary is that. He asked me wat's there to cry about. -- erm.. lots of things? The conclusion was that he says, "Maybe there just isnt anything i really care about that much, enough to make me cry at least."
In a discussion with Ai Wen and Tsin today, I told them that i think that the like for a friend, and the like for a partner/other half/bf/ gf, are 2 totally different constructs. i.e. the 2 types of likes are qualitatively different, and not just a mere difference in intensity. So Ai wen asked me "then how to explain people who fall for their friends, or gd friends becoming lovers?" --> this has always been something that confused me. I NEVER understood how that could happen. How could u one moment like this person as a friend, and then suddenly like him in another way? I understand all the thing about sexual tension between platonic friends, but i sort of feel that it might be due to just simply the wiring of humans rather than actually liking the person in that way.
This does not mean i advocate love at first sight. For me, mentally, there are 4 baskets. 1) Friends 2) Possibles 3) Pending 4) Get lost. When u first get to know someone, they go into the pending basket first. Depending on the amount of interaction, that will determine how fast he/she is basketed. And just in case u were wondering, my get lost basket is quite large (muhahaha!). If u're wondering whether u're in the get lost basket, u prob are. =P going on, if they are classified as friends, then i cant see how they can jump the basket to become possibles in the first place. Like i say, the r/s is qualitatively different, so how can change? i think its not like "energetics" and its not like u pass a certain threshold, u like as a friend enough to like as a lover. *scratches head*
Rather, i'm wondering whether there must be some life changing event to cause this change in classification?
And this leads on to what i always advocate that when ppl break up, they need to re-learn how to be friends. I dont mean re-learn things about each other. I mean re-learn how to interact and all. Its not just bringing down the intensity of the relationship, like not being as nice or as loving. Its a totally different interaction. Thus, i conclude, they are 2 different constructs. but then again, these 2 constructs might have some sort of correlation that we can only determine through exploratory factor analysis, which i dun understand and dun give a damm abt. (I'm trying to bring in something too, since Tsin used Guttman scale. i cannot lose. haha)
The disclaimer i have is that, there might be individual differences in this. So this might be the case for me, and not the case for others. Pls feel free to comment. =)
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